Setting Goals

As I mentioned before in one of my  posts, my blogs would be  less frequent due to my studies this year.  But I thought I would give a little update.  I received my last four assignments today. And the feeling is utter elation.

I can not even begin to imagine how far I have come over these two and a half years.  Its amazing what we can achieve if we set our minds to it, and if we set goals.

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I am going home next month. Home is still Amsterdam to me. Well its home away from home.

And the excitement is brimming inside of me to see my daughter Skye, family and friends,  and to ride my bike around the  canals and places that are just so familiar to me and just home…

But before I planned my trip I had work that needed to be done. I had to complete my 14th assignment.

That means work handed in, marked by the teachers and passed. Here in Brisbane the summers are hot and very humid.  They are long and at times unbearable.  I made my decision that before I left to go home, I needed to get most of this done before the summer arrives and energy levels slow down.  I set about writing my goals down, and using highlighter to achieve just that.  As I zipped through hours and hours of study and assignments – each written goal in front of me began to be “ticked” off.  Whilst I am not yet done with the rest of my study. I am near the end. And this has been done with a very energetic job of being a beauty stylist.  I say this because I am not a spring chicken.  Fortunately I am pretty fit and healthy.

 

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I know that in years to come I will look back and wonder how on earth I managed to achieve it. There are days that I am so exhausted I can barely walk another step.  But having goals and achieving them is the most blissful experience ever.  There really is nothing that you can not achieve. If you have a plan, set about writing it all down. And watch those pages turn with more goals.

 

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There is something to be said about setting goals and steadily achieving them.  There is something magical about having it all planned out on paper. Something happens. You set about achieving those goals. Make sure that you regularly look at what you have written to stay on track.  It must be quite visible to you.  There is something magical about ticking things off the list. It drives you to do more and more.  Don’t set unrealistic goals. Keep checking back to see that you are going at a steady pace. If you slip up one week, don’t become despondent and pack it all in. Just get back on track,  and if you need to – adjust the goal post slightly.

I am perfectly comfortable with admitting that I am looking very forward to a whole weekend without studies this holiday. And because I reached my goal, I will be doing what I love – guilt free.

I am looking forward to exploring some of Australia next year. Places around Brisbane,  like Noosa and many other magical places.  Life will be taking on a whole new meaning after I have reached this years goals.

There will be more goals to come to really propel me on the road to success. But for now,  this one has been reached.  And I cant wait to go back home.

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Dr Wayne Dyer

Sadly one of the greatest people of our times has suddenly passed away.  I honestly considered Dr Wayne Dyer to be a modern day guru.  He was at the foremost of teaching some of the most incredible lessons that we- as his students could ever learn.

 

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I stumbled across his work and his books quite some time ago.  I  happened to be going through a difficult time.  I was living in Amsterdam and a friend of mine worked in a bookshop across the way in one of the shopping streets in the centre of town. The bookshop is Waterstones.  I absolutely loved going in to the shop to get my magazines and books of all kinds.

At the time one of Skye’s (my daughter’s) friend’s mother worked there. It was a largely english speaking shop catering for the expats and for tourists, and of course Dutch too.  The mom was a Reike healer and believed in all the magic in life too. One day she visited with a whole bag of books that she had been collecting over the years from working at waterstonesand she kindly left the bag for me to stifle through and help myself to what I felt was valid to me, and the rest to return for her to pass on to others.  Out of this bag onto my carpet fell a small book called Manifest your destiny As I mentioned earlier, at the time I was going through a particularly rough patch and this book changed everything for me. And I mean everything as I knew it.

My eyes opened wide. Life changed into this magical adventure where I no longer needed to struggle so much, and rather looked at how I could change my outlook from the inside to change the outside. It had the most profound affect on me. One little book of magic. Literally! That is where my relationship began with this amazing man. Dr Wayne Dyer.  I threw myself into reading more and more of his work, and to this day he is one of the most fatherly figures to me in my life. The real father I never had. The love and the passion he has had to share has been immense. I feel a deep sense of loss with him having left. I can only imagine what his family must be feeling. A real loss. I have genuinely felt a sense of grief. He was just so beautiful and so incredibly special. How lucky we are to be blessed with such beings that come and guide us lost souls and show us the way to the light! WayneDyerQuote1

To this very day the man himself guides me in some way. As I myself am studying to be a counsellor just like he once did. His famous book your erroneous zones will become a staple of mine to serve my clients. I know this for sure and intended that before I began my studies! I will carry this mans work with me forever. And I genuinely pay tribute to him. I watched his movie that was put up for one week on his Facebook page, and I cried. The movie called the shift. Just knowing he is no longer here with us, hearing that magical deep voice, that beautiful smile, those big helping hands, the amazing stories.  Dr Wayne Dyer I miss you already. And I salute you and I love you very much. I thank you from the very bottom of my heart for all the good you have done and how you changed my life, or should I say – produced material for me and millions of others to change our lives for the better. We can always do better! I send prayer to your wonderful children and your daughter Skye, your family and all you friends and colleagues.  How sad they must all be. We all know you were not scared at all of dying.

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Thankfully your work will be around much longer than all of us and it will reach and teach many more lost souls.

 

 

Namaste.

Moving Onwards & Upwards

I left London in  November 2013.  My husband is British and I was partially raised by a very British step-father.  I have always loved Britain and London and my english roots and ties. Aways.  When I was growing up, our house was very British and Italian and all the other nationalities I am as well. We had endless episodes of Faulty Towers playing in our house. The humour in our house was very British too.

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But when I left the last time. It was after two of the worst years I can categorically recall – Not since some very early periods of painful things that I had as a young child and teenager.   My beautiful city  London and all things British became horribly tainted by these dark and nasty moments that were being lived by me.   There are posts of how painful some of those things were for me, but I will never be able to explain the exact extent of what I went through ,or should I say what I was dragged through. But it was not pretty. Lets just leave it at that!  And by someone who I absolutely adored and looked up to and cared very much about at the time.

I experienced what a living nightmare was in all its darkness. I learned how selfish and greedy people can be that have portrayed themselves otherwise. I learned a hell of lot. And it seems I needed to learn all of that. I will never entrust my life in anyones hands again. I found myself with no voice to speak up in case I was jobless.  Fear ruled my life and beckoned me further down the road of hell. But I made that choice.  Until eventually I snapped. Broken. Shattered. All the things I had done to work on myself through the years fell apart. All the courage I had built and all the self taught positive input I had dedicated myself to also slipped away. I no longer felt I was part of anything or believed in anything anymore. The magic I once felt was long gone.

 

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I arrived in Australia in December 2013.  Shortly after I left Amsterdam and spent sometime with my greatest gift-  my daughter Skye.  By the time I arrived in a hot and humid Brisbane, I was an empty vessel. My family were  standing at the airport waiving little Aussie flags- they would have no idea that the girl they were collecting from international arrivals was no longer even there anymore. Everything about me was lost. Everything that made me who I was, was in fact just gone. I no longer cared about anything much. I tried hard to put on a very brave face.  I desperately wanted to turn back the clock and erase the time I had in London for those hellish two years. Oh how I would have given anything to transport me back to Amsterdam. Back home to my daughter, my bike, my friends. My life as I had known it. My beautiful home that I had given up  by false promises and lies.

 

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I arrived with hardly any money. I had used all my last resources getting out of hell. Moving all my stuff, tickets, getting to my daughter, getting to Thailand for a week  to try and compose myself. And then getting to Australia and having just enough to survive for a few months till I could find work and get back up again.  The little money I did have represented hell for me, so I actually wanted shot of that too. I could not stop crying. Non stop, all the time. My mother took me to the doctors and got me some of  the help that I needed. I slowly but surely began to heal. I saw a therapist and life started to look up again.

 

 

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I have spent the last year and a half making other women feel good about themselves. And this has been great. And my new role is to do the same but on a more personal level.

I have gone from working for a big make-up brand. To becoming the first beauty stylist for a huge store. Its one for the history books! At the same time I am studying to be a counsellor. I will qualify next year. After two years of hard graft.

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Now I look at things very differently. And I am very open to things changing again in the future. I am not sure that Australia is my forever place. Most probably not. But its been the place where I have come to get my head sorted and be with my family who love me unconditionally. To pick myself up when almost everything fell apart. Its in those dark places that we can find ourselves again. When your heart is so full of darkness it cracks open and the little bit of light shines in and opens it all up again.

 

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You experience all that you experience to learn and to grow. Its part of the deal. Some of those things are unexplainable. But further down the line, you will get it.  I wont’ hesitate to live my life to the fullest. I want to live life! Fight for your survival. Don’t let others get the better of you! People will love it when you fall. There is so much shit out there. But there is a lot of good. Find your strengths and build on them. Learn from past mistakes. I certainly wont ever make the same ones! Mine were hard lessons. Most of us get it hard. But we only get what we can just about cope with. Its important to feel that pain. To really feel the earth tremble and shatter beneath you to be free again. Someone else’s bad behaviour towards you is their karma.

 

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Kelly Howell – Brain Sync

I have been a huge fan of Kelly Howell meditations for many many years. I happened to see that she was launching a new app on iTunes and that she was requesting for like minded people who know a thing or two about meditations and manifesting to review the app and report back to her and her team.

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I sent my message in and was incredibly blessed to be one of the “chosen” to be gifted her new app and her new meditations.  I cannot stress enough just how brilliant this woman is!  I intend to use them in my practise when I qualify as a counsellor at the end of next year. I am certain that the Kelly Howell guided meditations have helped me endlessly over the years. There have even been times when I have listened to her incredibly soothing and even sexy voice when I have gone to sleep at night. Gently and effectively detoxing and reprogramming my sub-conscious mind.

There are a wide variety of meditations and guided meditations to suit everyone. I have always been transported by the guided meditations. I feel blessed enough to be instantly connected to them and to really feel the effects of what they are designed to do. But so can you! It just takes a few moments to tune in and to apply yourself to listen to them on a regular basis to be able to get the full benefits and results! I remain totally loyal to Kelly Howell and her divine meditations. There have been moments when I was listening to these and thinking to myself – how incredibly blessed are we to be able to live in a world now when we can just plug in and someone else does the “hard” work for us!

The cherry on the cake is that the meditations come in short bursts of 10 minutes if you are short of time, and 20 for a bit more and even deeper if you need at 30 minutes.

The more you listen, the more you will achieve. Over time the results will be incredible. There are these amazing people out there doing  these amazing things to be able to help us achieve our very best in life. Take advantage of this and tune in! You wont be at all disappointed. For this I am sure.

 

Thank you Kelly Howell for helping me over the years. I will forever tune in.

Toxic Friendships

This is one of the  last blog’s of a certain experience that I had in my life over a year and a half ago that affected me badly. I needed to blog about it because it happens to most of us- and I feel its better out than in. We can all learn from toxic friendships.

I came across this incredible article – which totally summed it up perfectly – almost as though it has been written just for me, confirming everything of what I experienced over many years. I am sure many of you can relate as well.

We all come across highly toxic people in our lives – they are swimming around everywhere. They can’t wait to latch on and drive their negativity into your head and heart.

This kind of toxic friend comes into your lives pretending to be caring and loving. They hold the mask across their face as though they are friends. They are not friends. They are highly toxic.

 

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What are these traits of highly toxic one sided friends?

 

* They will pretend to adore you – but turn when its no longer convenient for them and even turn very nasty.

* They will interfere with all your plans when you have made arrangements. Turning the attention onto themselves so that they can get what they want out of the situation.

* They will put you down at any given opportunity behind your back to make themselves look good.

* They will never defend you even when you have done good.

* They wont ever offer compliments back to you.

* They will try to make you look stupid to increase how they look to others.

* They are often jealous and insecure.

* They cant wait to come and share bad things that others have said about you. Even if those things are not at all true.

 

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* They think that they know everything and always try to overshadow your views and the views of others.

* They are the biggest braggers and flashers of their lives on social media .

* They must impress and show off at any possible opportunity. They are quite vulgar and for example : must let others know that the sheets are not just sheets, they are Egyptian cotton sheets.

* They even admit to being able to cut people out of their lives in an instant. Admitting their own shallowness and lack of love and empathy.

* They pretend to be generous and kind, but its only for their own gratifications and convenience.

* They lack in self control.

* They never admit to their mistakes and never apologise.

* They over exaggerate the things that they have done for you, yet fail to admit what you have done for them.

 

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There are so many toxic people that we come across and meet in our lives. Often keeping these people around for long amounts of time. Its only when we manage to step back and see who they really are that we are able to filter out the rubbish.

But there are also many good people out there. And life will offer up happiness and joy when you do step back and see clearly.

 

Picking Up The Pieces

There comes that time in life when you can finally look back and see things clearly.  There is a chance to laugh again, and a chance to finally look and reevaluate your dreams that you held so dear. The ones that you forgot because you got so terribly sucked into the worst kind of existence that you could possibly imagine for yourself. The dreams that got washed away almost as though a huge wave came crashing down and just like that, swept them all away.  One day you are standing there, and the magnitude of reality of what you emerged from is almost surreal.

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The laughter had but all gone. Hearing your own laughter was once something you heard daily, and then for sometime it was gone. For a long time actually. And you thought about that. You thought about how you hadn’t heard that laughter anymore. You worried and wondered if you ever would. At some point you really believed that it was simply never coming back. This was it now. This is how it was always going to be. But then something does change and you do laugh again. woman_happy

And you begin to pick up the pieces and to restructure your original plan. You lost sight of that plan in the midst of the epic battle you managed to emerge from. But you emerge stronger and far calmer than you ever thought you could be. Because you are brave and bold. You start to love yourself again. Because that is where it all begins. With self love. Everything else begins to fall into place. Healing begins with self. Nothing much on the outside is going to fix you if you don’t start internally. Patience is needed. Lots of it. quotes-mood-boosting-jesse-dylan-600x411

Laughter has been known to heal. That is simply one of life’s natural joys and medicines.

Forgiveness

I have not written for a while, and at times I feel so guilty for not doing so.  I am my worst critic, and I know that its important to keep writing for my blog to be in any way meaningful or helpful in any of the areas that I cover. I have even considered removing my blog so as not to make an ass of myself. But my gut feeling urges me to keep going.  What does any of this have to do with forgiveness you might ask?

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When we feel stuck and tied up in the past we struggle to gain control of anything in the present.  It is very hard to put one step in front of the other when you are still struggling with things that are not completed or dealt with in your heart.

Even something as drastic as moving across the world wont solve the pain you might be carrying with you. No matter how hard you try to get a grip, you are still in that dark place. So how do you deal with past issues and set yourself free from the past pains you may have endured? How do you finally forgive and set yourself free?

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The most important thing is to forgive yourself. This is vital. Forgive yourself for the decisions you made. As I have said before – none of us are victims. We are where we are  through choices that we have made. This does not mean that the situation we found ourselves in was gravely unfair and unjust, it just means we made a mistake and we must find a way to move on.  But what if we had a situation where another person behaved so badly towards us that we feel it is unforgivable? How do we forgive!

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Well my take  on forgiveness is quite different to what many are preaching and conveying. I believe that you can not just forgive. That you have to be patient for this feeling to come at the right time.

I found myself in the worst situation a couple of years ago. I trusted a friend with my life and put my life in her hands and she abused that from the very first day I arrived. It was a huge decision to trust her to do the right thing to begin with, and after much assurance and persuasion, I made the bold decision to uproot my life and jump into the unknown. I took a massive leap of faith. That leap of faith cost me so many things. Including my health. My heart nearly packed up on me for good! It was the scariest and most damaging decision that I have ever made. But…..I made that choice. No one is to blame for that! So the forgiveness begins with me.

So what about forgiving the other person?

That does not even matter anymore. Just forgive yourself. Be gentle and kind to yourself and get help. I help people, and I still also need help. We are  all beings of the universe and we are all here together to make it work. Admitting you need to get help is good, it opens doors to recovery and support.

If you are not ready to forgive others for what they have done, then don’t worry about it! Too many books are telling you that you must forgive others to move on. Rubbish. Forgive you first. Set yourself free from the guilt of not forgiving others that have caused you pain.

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Have patience for yourself and for the process. You can not force forgiveness. It cant just happen.

Be gentle and allow things to flow naturally. In time all the wounds of pain will heal. And those who deserve you will be around to enjoy the love you have to share.

 

Depression

No matter where you are in your life right now, you can change whatever you need to change. If that is what you want to do. There are dark times where you many not understand how to find your way out. You wake up one day and ask yourself – how on earth have I arrived here! And how am I going to get out!

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It can happen to all of us, and it does happen to most of us at some stage in our lives.

The great thing about life, is that it will always change. And the light will appear again. Nothing ever stays the same.

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We can arrive in any number of  situation’s where we have put all of our trust and faith in in an area or another individual and they let us down.  They made us big promises and go back on everything that they said.  Or whatever the reason.

We can tend to blame ourselves for this.

What are the signs that you are in a bad situation and you feel as though you have no way out?

Here are a few examples.

1) You start to lose your appetite or you gain a lot of weight.

2) You cry almost every day.

3) You have a sinking sad feeling in your stomach most of the time.

4) You start to lose your self confidence over a period of time. It begins to slip away.

5) You no longer feel worthy.

6) You no longer recognise the person you once were.

7) Things that once made you laugh and happy no longer feel familiar.

8) You health starts to suffer. You may get heart palpitations frequently. (in severe cases)

9) You can’t seem to see a way out.

10) You may get suicidal thoughts. (in very severe cases)

Please seek help. There are a number of avenues to get help for ever feeling any of the above.

And no matter what you are going through – if it is not making you feel worthy, then find a way to change it.

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We will always find ourselves amongst people that will think that they are better than us, or the next person. This is simply a fact of life. And it is also greatly shameful of those folks that think themselves better than anyone. They are living in an ego based bubble. Try to remove yourself from this kind of person as soon as you can. Not so easy these days! The planet is rife with toxic people. But there are also more good people. Its the ying and yang of life.

 

You are more than enough just the way you are. We are all on this splendid journey to learn and to grow and to love. There is nothing more important than love. That is all there is. It is the basis of everything.

Self love is the MOST important step forward.

More on that subject next time.

 

 

Yoga girl

I recently decided to take up some yoga after following a young woman on Instagram that my sister-in-law recommended to me. Her name is Rachel Brathen aka Yoga_girl  & her story gripped me instantly. I saw similarities and her husband is partly Dutch I believe. When I see them on Instagram in Amsterdam , it makes me feel close to home in many ways.  She speaks from the heart and her posts are everything from joy to happiness to travel and even heartbreaking pain.  What this woman has achieved through social media and a love of what she does is just incredible and a real sign of the times of the world that we now live in.  A real inspiration to an incredible amount of people, me included!

 

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So after months of reading Yoga_girl’s posts and wishing that I was in all  the places that she has taught around the world. The best thing happened. She launched some yoga videos to do at home!  I did not hesitate to purchase mine. Who better to learn from than someone who teaches around the world, and has more than a million followers on Instagram right? I began my first one a few days ago, and managed to complete my second one today. They are fabulous! And I know that I will see results if I stick to doing them.  One day I will be able to attend one of her classes in person.  I stretched places on my body today that I honestly never knew I had! And that is saying a lot for someone who does Pilates regularly.  The very first day that I did her first video, I must have opened up a few chakras that have been shut due to a lot of past pain, because I sobbed after. It was a real release.

 

Yoga_girl has a variety of yoga that she teaches including SUP yoga .  Rachel and her husband are the one and only certified legal  SUP business.  This is a stand up paddle board method on a Bogayoga board, that I believe her and her husband Dennis, also an instructor –  have devised and mastered.  This is done in her hometown of Costa Rica and in other fabulous beach locations around the globe.

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I urge all of you to follow Yoga_girl on Instagram and to get connected on her website for up and coming events in your city around the globe. http://rachelbrathen.com/blog/

I can absolutely recommend her yoga videos to use in the comfort of your home.  They are incredibly peaceful, challenging and powerful.

I will keep you updated with my progress.

 

Gut Feelings & Destinations

I hung up the phone and looked out of my window in Amsterdam. The call came from a person I considered to be a friend at the time. I had a choice, two in fact.  Stay in Amsterdam living in my stunning apartment, or take a leap of faith and trust this person who was offering me something new and exciting. I was going through a rough patch, why not I thought to myself.

As It happened it turned out to be the worst mistake I have ever consciously made in my life!  And I have made a few along the way. I am quite comfortable admitting when I have made mistakes.  Many people are unable to admit to their mistakes and refuse to believe that they are capable of being arseholes.  It is those that refuse to admit they have wronged- that are the ones that are the most dangerous.  They live in this cloud of self righteous ego that is incapable of seeing other’s perspectives other than their own.  Stay away from this kind of person. Learn to detect them soon. The signs are always ALWAYS there.  But often we chose to not see  what is right before our very eyes.

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There is never any guarantee in life about the next step you take towards your dreams.  But…..there are a few golden rules that I ignored before I left the city that gave my daughter  and I our lives back after Africa.

1) Gut feelings are the most crucial and most honest guide you will EVER get in your life! Listen to your gut feeling. If I had listened to mine, I would never have had to call up a psychic to see if I was making the right decision to move to London.  I would have known without a shadow of a doubt that the decision was wrong.  Because my initial gut feeling said NO.

2) Do not trust anyone who is offering you the sun, moon and stars who has generally been an unstable gypsy most of their own lives! They cant possibly offer you stability when they haven’t had any themselves.   Looking at a persons past is a good reflection of what their future will be like, and you are are putting your life in someones hands, it had better be the hands of someone who is responsible and decent and honest. i.e. wont go back on their word that they gave to you and the promises made,  the day you arrive.

3)  Open your eyes and look for the signs.  They are without a shadow of a doubt there! I can categorically affirm that I ignored all of these signs. And that led me down the darkest roads that I ever wished to travel.

If you have made a big mistake in a decision. Don’t beat yourself about it. You are human and you will take lessons learned and apply them wisely to the next chapter of your life.  Nothing is for nothing at the end of the day. Lessons learned are lessons earned.

 

Chose wisely. And I leave this thought with you.

If it sounds too good to be true, most of the time it most probably is!

 

 

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