Toxic Friendships

This is one of the  last blog’s of a certain experience that I had in my life over a year and a half ago that affected me badly. I needed to blog about it because it happens to most of us- and I feel its better out than in. We can all learn from toxic friendships.

I came across this incredible article – which totally summed it up perfectly – almost as though it has been written just for me, confirming everything of what I experienced over many years. I am sure many of you can relate as well.

We all come across highly toxic people in our lives – they are swimming around everywhere. They can’t wait to latch on and drive their negativity into your head and heart.

This kind of toxic friend comes into your lives pretending to be caring and loving. They hold the mask across their face as though they are friends. They are not friends. They are highly toxic.

 

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What are these traits of highly toxic one sided friends?

 

* They will pretend to adore you – but turn when its no longer convenient for them and even turn very nasty.

* They will interfere with all your plans when you have made arrangements. Turning the attention onto themselves so that they can get what they want out of the situation.

* They will put you down at any given opportunity behind your back to make themselves look good.

* They will never defend you even when you have done good.

* They wont ever offer compliments back to you.

* They will try to make you look stupid to increase how they look to others.

* They are often jealous and insecure.

* They cant wait to come and share bad things that others have said about you. Even if those things are not at all true.

 

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* They think that they know everything and always try to overshadow your views and the views of others.

* They are the biggest braggers and flashers of their lives on social media .

* They must impress and show off at any possible opportunity. They are quite vulgar and for example : must let others know that the sheets are not just sheets, they are Egyptian cotton sheets.

* They even admit to being able to cut people out of their lives in an instant. Admitting their own shallowness and lack of love and empathy.

* They pretend to be generous and kind, but its only for their own gratifications and convenience.

* They lack in self control.

* They never admit to their mistakes and never apologise.

* They over exaggerate the things that they have done for you, yet fail to admit what you have done for them.

 

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There are so many toxic people that we come across and meet in our lives. Often keeping these people around for long amounts of time. Its only when we manage to step back and see who they really are that we are able to filter out the rubbish.

But there are also many good people out there. And life will offer up happiness and joy when you do step back and see clearly.

 

Depression

No matter where you are in your life right now, you can change whatever you need to change. If that is what you want to do. There are dark times where you many not understand how to find your way out. You wake up one day and ask yourself – how on earth have I arrived here! And how am I going to get out!

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It can happen to all of us, and it does happen to most of us at some stage in our lives.

The great thing about life, is that it will always change. And the light will appear again. Nothing ever stays the same.

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We can arrive in any number of  situation’s where we have put all of our trust and faith in in an area or another individual and they let us down.  They made us big promises and go back on everything that they said.  Or whatever the reason.

We can tend to blame ourselves for this.

What are the signs that you are in a bad situation and you feel as though you have no way out?

Here are a few examples.

1) You start to lose your appetite or you gain a lot of weight.

2) You cry almost every day.

3) You have a sinking sad feeling in your stomach most of the time.

4) You start to lose your self confidence over a period of time. It begins to slip away.

5) You no longer feel worthy.

6) You no longer recognise the person you once were.

7) Things that once made you laugh and happy no longer feel familiar.

8) You health starts to suffer. You may get heart palpitations frequently. (in severe cases)

9) You can’t seem to see a way out.

10) You may get suicidal thoughts. (in very severe cases)

Please seek help. There are a number of avenues to get help for ever feeling any of the above.

And no matter what you are going through – if it is not making you feel worthy, then find a way to change it.

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We will always find ourselves amongst people that will think that they are better than us, or the next person. This is simply a fact of life. And it is also greatly shameful of those folks that think themselves better than anyone. They are living in an ego based bubble. Try to remove yourself from this kind of person as soon as you can. Not so easy these days! The planet is rife with toxic people. But there are also more good people. Its the ying and yang of life.

 

You are more than enough just the way you are. We are all on this splendid journey to learn and to grow and to love. There is nothing more important than love. That is all there is. It is the basis of everything.

Self love is the MOST important step forward.

More on that subject next time.

 

 

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